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‘No Conflict’ is worse than having any conflict
This is true with regard to relationship between two individuals or individual vs organization or individual vs Government.
When there are two minds involved conflict is bound to happen, if the thinking mode is ‘ON’
At times individuals try and avoid the conflicts by not raising their concern, as we are conditioned to believe that the conflicts are bad and are to be avoided to have peace of mind.
Whereas the suppressed emotions do the opposite to our mental health, if we continue to keep the emotions and feelings to ourselves for longer.
Getting into that situation gets tougher because no one wants to listen to their shortcomings or issues. But not sharing your concern out of fear or any other reason whatsoever makes the situation only worst, and makes it even tougher, first in our own head and later on gets manifested in real life situations.
As far as any individual is concerned, there can be a situation wherein one has decided to remain silent and not to give voice to his/her concerns because of obvious reasons. As long as one can manage the timing and control his/her emotions without taking a toll on their body & mind, it’s absolutely fine. And it is sensible to choose your battles.
But to perpetually avoid the conflict is the biggest conflict for the mind.
Our society, by its very nature, try to avoid conflicts and design the infrastructure and ecosystem in a way wherein there is very little room for conflicts – read ‘room for raising your concerns’
Although there are many such situations wherein system, culture, and environment was designed for people or a section of people to stay away from voicing their concern, there are couple of example I can share:
Remember ‘Pati Parmeshwar’ (Husband is GOD) scenario in the past in India, wherein it was clearly expected from the wives to accept every damn thing any husband does by keeping absolutely mum. He was equated to God so how can one question him. There wasn’t many conflicts or divorces back then, but it’s foolish to believe there was no concerns. In fact in the cover of this scenario of considering your husband as God, all the rights and privileges were snatched from women in a systematic manner.
But do we endorse that behavior or thoughts anymore? Definitely not.
Another example is of modern day government authorities, forming the policies around freedom of speech or freedom of press in order to avoid the potential conflict. The people in power have their own reasons to do that.
However, as an individual, in our own capacity, it’s counterproductive to avoid the conflicts beyond an extent.
In all these situations, there would be lot of noise, inside & outside both, but there won’t be any communication.
Accepting the conflict as natural phenomenon is the beginning of solution, and it makes your mind free from unnecessary pressure. Once that’s done you can think of available options in terms of facing the situation and finding the appropriate solution.
In these times, when we talk about various aspects of mental health, this is exceedingly important to understand and accept the conflicts as integral part of life.