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Uncertainty
Life is full of uncertainty and apprehensions about the future. While most of the things remain outside your control, your mindset is key to muddle through difficult circumstances and confidently facing the unknown.
“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.” — Bob Goff
Why Do We Fear Uncertainty?
The moment we take any action with some uncertainty of outcome, we are taking a risk.
You skip breakfast to get work done, understanding that you may compensate it during lunch. You call your friend to patch things up fully knowing that you might be screaming at him or he might be complaining about all those mistakes you made. You buy your relative a gift completely understanding that they may hate it.
Because there is always some uncertainty in life, risk will go hand in hand. What keeps us stable when making these decisions in the face of uncertainty is being able to properly assess the potential costs and benefits of each risk.
In some cases, uncertainty seems manageable, and we can feel okay about our decisions. “I’ve gone without breakfast before, and I can do it again…” and so on.
It’s when we are not aware of the quantum of risk; when there is so much uncertainty that we can’t even begin to calculate in our heads what we’re going to lose and what we’re going to gain; that we tend to mismanage the situation.
When there is so much uncertainty that we no longer know how risky any given choice is, then our brain kind of short-circuits and we have no clarity on what to do with ourselves. In these situations of excessive uncertainty, our animal instincts kick in. And we tend to assume the worst.
In the end, if there is so much uncertainty that we have no idea what to do, we might as well operate off the worst case scenario in order to protect ourselves. This is why uncertainty results into anxiety.
When you have no clue what to say to someone, you assume they will laugh at you no matter what you do. When you don’t know anything about your new boss, you tend to imagine that they will be tough and unreasonable. When we feel sick and don’t know the reason, we instantly assume that’s to be something critical.
Ultimately, our sub-conscious mind, upon seeing something is not able to assess that is a threat or not, goes on to assume that it is a threat. It picks known devil over unknown.
Imagining certainty
Since most people can’t just live with uncertainty and most people deal with this fear of uncertainty is by imagining certainty. The anxiety of it all is just too much to endure, so we’ll gladly trade it for delusional assurance, regardless of how ignorantly we came about it.
However, that doesn’t change the reality just because we feel certain about something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Fundamentally, knowing what is true and the feeling of knowing something is true are two different things, and they can surely occur without each other.
To be happy and healthy, we have to understand it properly in order to strike the balance. We have to accept that there’s some uncertainty in the world, because that is what will keep us open to change, allow us to learn, and help us adapt to the challenges.
At the same time, we need to feel some amount of certainty too, so that we can feel a sense of security to some extent and at least pretend we know what we’re doing.
Identify your triggers
A lot of uncertainty tends to be self-made, through unnecessary worrying or a pessimistic viewpoint. However, some uncertainty is generated through external sources, like covid outbreak. Reading media stories that focus on worst-case scenarios, spending a lot of time on social media amidst rumors and fake news, or simply communicating with restless people can all fuel your own fears.
That’s why a lot of people start panic-buying when bad news breaks. When they see others doing it and it feeds their own fears. By identifying your triggers, you can take action to avoid or reduce your exposure to them.
Observe when you feel the need for certainty
Observe when you start to feel anxious about a situation, and begin to worry about what-ifs, or feel like a situation is far worse than real situation. Look for the physical cues that you’re feeling anxious. You might observe the tension in around your neck or shoulders, shortness of breath, the beginning of a headache etc. Take a moment to pause and recognize that you’re longing for assurance in the face of uncertainty.
Let yourself feel the uncertainty
Instead of wasting your efforts to gain control over the uncontrollable, allow yourself to experience the anxiety of uncertainty. Similar to all emotions, if you let yourself feel fear and uncertainty, they will eventually pass.
“Trusting that there is a next step is the first step to figuring out what the next step is.” — Jennifer Williamson