Do you Rationalize your decisions, actions, and behaviors?

I can answer this on your behalf quickly. Yes we do, every day, and in multiple situations.

Rationalization may be defined as self-deception by reasoning”- K Horney

One of the most intriguing things about humans is how remarkably good we are at lying to ourselves. We all are masters of rationalization.

Rationalization is a defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner, in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable, or even admirable and superior, by reasonable means.

One would assume that since the term “rationalization” has the word “rational” in it, it has to do something along the lines of ‘being rational’, “within reason” or “logical”, right?

But it’s not true at all. Rationalization is anything but rational.

Before we move forward, let me share a simple example for this

Do you know how do hunters catch monkeys?

The hunters use a container with an opening at the top, just big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in. Inside the box are nuts. Once the monkey grabs the nuts and now its hand becomes a fist. The monkey tries to get its hand out but the opening is big enough for the hand to slide in, but too small for the fist to come out. Now the monkey has a choice, either to let go off the nuts and be free forever or hang on to the nuts and get caught. Guess what it picks every time? You guessed it right. He hangs on to the nuts and gets caught.

We humans are no different from monkeys. We all hang on to some nuts that keep us from going forward in the right direction.

The only difference is our ability to rationalize our choices by saying:

  • “I couldn’t go there because…”
  • “I couldn’t do this because…”
  • “I didn’t do that because…”
  • “I didn’t think like this because …”
  • “I thought this won’t work because….”

And whatever comes after “because” are the nuts that we keep hanging on to while they were holding us back.

When we love to eat chocolates and know that too much of chocolate consumption is bad for us, we rationalize our decision of frequent consumption by saying it has antioxidants and it boosts our mood.

You can replace ‘chocolate’ here with any object or habit, you wanted to quit or wanted to reduce the consumption of, but you didn’t because you have the ability to rationalize your actions and you can justify your choices with reasoning.

Whether you ‘play victim’ or ‘blame others’ or ‘live in denial’ or ‘invalidate’ or ‘avoid’ something, these all are symptoms of rationalization. We use all these interchangeably in order to defend us for our decisions or behaviors.

These are the most common scenarios, wherein we rationalize our actions & behaviors frequently:

  • Rationalizing bad decisions
  • Rationalizing rude behavior
  • Rationalizing situations we’re stuck in 
  • Rationalizing to cover Swelled Egos
  • Rationalizing addictive behaviors

Successful people don’t rationalize. Two things determine if a person will be a success: reasons and results. Reasons don’t count while results do.

A great advice for failure is: Don’t think, don’t ask and don’t listen. Just keep rationalizing.

If you’re trying to achieve something or your goal is to change your behavior or something similar, then rationalization is your biggest enemy and will only hold you back.

If you want to combat the ‘rationalization’ then don’t pay any heed to the excuses. Take complete responsibility and be honest in making your decisions and in your actions.